15.3.19

The truth about my ex relationships.

I read an article which states people usually fall in love 3 times in their lifetime, which got me to thinking about how many people I've been 'in love' with. I've had relationships which have lasted a few months to a few years, and now I think my search for the 'one' is finally over. Sadly, people change, people do things to hurt other people and dating can lead to heartbreak. But it can also lead to knowledge and you know what they say about knowledge, it's power. I always find it great to be able to reflect on past relationships and think about what went wrong, and if there were any common factors. Most of us have a type, and I feel like it takes most of us years to stop searching for 'our type' and start searching for the right kind of person. The reason I am writing this post primarily is to let you guys know, there isn't a set number of relationships you should have, nor a set length these should be, despite what society likes to make us believe. 

It can take 100 people (or even more) to find the right one, and that is completely ok. Just because it has only taken your friend only two relationships to find the right person doesn't mean this is the correct number. Once you stop caring about what others think about you dating and date for yourself you're more likely to find happiness and locate the right person for you. I hope you enjoy this post and if you like my dating/relationship posts, do let me know in the comments as this is something I'd love to feature more in the future. 



My first 'serious' boyfriend:
I met my first 'serious' boyfriend through my best friend at the time, she knew him from a Christian retreat and I remember her showing me the pictures of him and I was amazed by him and she put us in touch and we began to talk, I can't remember what actually happened from then on, but I remember we got together pretty quickly and we fell in love (or so I thought we were back then) it was a great feeling. I was 15 at the time and I thought we all had it figured out. The few times I met his mum she decided she didn't like me, and from then on, it really didn't work. I was naive to think it would be ok, that we'd fight against his mum and make it work, the whole Romeo and Juliet sitch without the ending. Then one day, we broke up. There was no going back, I thought I was never going to get over it, honestly, my first heartbreak was awful and I didn't think I'd get through it. You'll be shocked to know, I did, in fact, get over it.

The one who wanted us both. 
It was around 8 months later that I met my next boyfriend, through another friend. He was so different from the last, a lot more my type at the time. We both dressed in alternative clothes had similar music taste and he was in a band. Our relationship somewhat was kept a secret and on the down low from his friends and I never knew why. Like it wasn't a secret but he didn't show me off with pride like I had once hoped. It turned out he was in an off relationship with somebody, although they had ended this time for 'good' He'd told me they were over and I believed him, but when things went bad with us, he'd go back to her and visa versa. Eventually, I took myself out of the situation, I wanted someone who actually wanted me and not someone who used me and another girl. Weirdly though, that girl became one of my close friends for many years. Although we don't really speak anymore, I am glad I gained a friend from such a rubbish situation.



The one who couldn't decide: 
I met my next boyfriend in college, which in hindsight wasn't a great idea as we had to spend 4 days a week together and every fight would involve my friends and his and would cause a divide. The whole situation was a mess, we were both going through huge problems with our mental health and we didn't help each other at all. He'd break up with me and then get back together with me a lot, one time he broke up with me 7 times in the space of two days and it confused me. He, in the end, decided to drop out of college, I'm not sure if it was totally linked, however, I wonder what would have happened if we didn't date. We've not spoken at all since we broke up, and for a while, that was hard as we were sort of friends before it happened.

The one I fell out of love with:
Although this post does seem to include me being broken up with a lot, I did end up breaking up with someone who to this day is still my longest relationship. We met through friends at a party, you were so laid back you were basically horizontal. A few years went by and we were happy, but things started to come between us. We didn't share the same hobbies, they'd end up changing our plans a lot to suit other people and the one tragic event changed you as a person and it felt like you just pushed me away completely. Day by day it felt harder to cope with, so I had to walk away. We've since met up and do make better friends and he's now been travelling the world which I am super jealous of, but I know it wouldn't have happened if we were still together. Oh and I still love your mum and stepdad for taking me under their wing and making me feel like part of your family. 



The one who wasn't a perfect match: 
This relationship was one of the weirdest ones I've actually been in, as everyone from the outside could see what we were failing to see from the start. We really didn't go together at all, the majority of our relationship was doing things we both hated. He hated what I wanted to do and I hated it what he wanted to do. We moved into a student house together which for a while was all fun and games, then he became somebody totally different and didn't like the student life anymore. We'd argue more and more until I called time on the relationship. We had moved in together separately so the break up was so awkward as we spent 6 months in a house we both lived in as we had no money to go our separate ways. 

The one who wouldn't commit: 
My last ex isn't one I shouldn't really class as an ex, as he would never admit I was his girlfriend unless he was drunk. He wanted the whole girlfriend thing 70% of the time and the other 30% he wanted to act single. This situation went on for about two months and then it finally came to an end, with him cutting off all communication with me. Which at the time, felt like the worst thing to happen ever, however, now I am so glad he did. Oh hindsight you are a truly beautiful thing, aren't ya? 



The one who is my forever? 
2017 was when I met Will, we hit it off straight away. We went to the same college and university, we didn't know each other as he was the year younger, but we knew loads of people the same. We went our first date to Starbucks and the rest is history. In November of 2018, we got engaged and I couldn't be happier. 


"We can't change the past but we can start a new chapter with a happy ending"




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