Dear Bullies,

It's been five years since we left school but the torment you endured upon me still follow me around every single day. The names, the way you would laugh at my 'hairy' arms, the way you would take it in turns to ask me out and have a laugh all of it is still vivid in my memory. I hated going to school because of you, I would pretend I was sick so many days so I wouldn't have to face the torment that was going on when I would enter that classroom or at lunch. Many nights I would spend crying over these horrible imperfections about myself that I could never fix, whether that be my nose, my acne, my skinny figure or even my hairy arms. I couldn't change those things you wanted me to, I couldn't be one of the popular ones because I was too lame, didn't like getting in to trouble and found it hard to talk to new people. I would get ridiculed because I was quiet, but when I finally spoke up this made it all the worse. To teach me a lesson you drew my picture on the whiteboard during lunch and made it so ugly everyone couldn't help but laugh at. To this day I can still picture that image on that whiteboard, something that probably left your memory just hours after it happened. I'm sure you'll be pleased to know I now suffer with PTSD, which means I struggle just being in a large crowd of people, I hate looking in the mirror because I just imagine the horrible image of myself which you made me believe.



When I look in the mirror and I am having a bad day, I will remember all of those words and the way I feel about myself is a way nobody should ever feel about themselves but that was all down to you. The rumours you would start to get people to shout in my face, call me names and push me still ring in my ears. Starting a rumour about a popular girl I'd never even heard of and saying I said horrible things about her wasn't fair, I hadn't even heard of before that day. A whole school tormenting you for being ugly because you started a 'rumour' about a beautiful girl is not something anybody wants to happen to them. I spent most of my school days with my friends on the benches behind the language block, I felt safe. As safe as I could at that hell hole, others refer to as school. I would see so many people making friends but I knew I was different; my mental illness began at such a young age, I always felt like an outsider. I would go and spend hours punishing myself for not being good enough and not being the popular girl. Why couldn't I be blonde? why couldn't I be confident? why do I have acne?

The day I left school honestly was the best day of my life, I no longer had to deal with the evil torment which was given to me most days for 5 years. I went to college and my life CHANGED, people wanted to know me, people gave me the confidence and the love I was craving and I can say it changed my life. Even though it has been 5 years, I am still weak and have such a low opinion of myself and I am not sure that will ever change. I just have one more thing to say before I sign this letter. I hope you feel good for all of the hurt you inflicted on me, I hope it was worth it.

Love Olivia
xoxo.