Wednesday, 5 August 2015
Self Confidence, What is it all about?
The amount I've times I have looked into a mirror and want to be sick, is more times than I can possibly tell you, the amount of times I gone for a job and hated on myself so much that I have psyched myself out before I've even made it through the door, the amount of times I've avoided events and nights out because I am scared of the judging looks that I will get from other people. Until one day I realized it's not actually other people who hate me, or the way I am or look, it's myself and being this way was ruining the way I felt about everything, I was avoiding going out all together at one point, I would stay in PJs, sit on twitter where people could only see the image of which I would put out there and hide in bed. It was only until one day I realized that the only person who is feeling the effect of this is actually myself, to everyone else it just looks like I am avoiding people which was totally not the case, I was just too busy self loathing to love myself and others. Or as Ru Paul says "if you don't love yourself, how the hell do you expect anyone else to" which is actually something that has stuck with me, how can I expect people to think I am awesome if I don't even think it myself. How can I go through those doors and nail that interview if I can't even convince myself I can do it, let alone others?
Now don't get me wrong, I didn't wake up the next day and go I love myself, love my body, mind and my life turned out perfect, the end. Of course not, I am still working towards to it now in fact, I have my down days, but who doesn't? But instead of looking in the mirror and thinking "Ew" I actually think of one, if not more positive things about myself then there and it could be as little as my hair looks nice or I have no acne on that day or even better I could feel confident in my mind! But honestly, it turns out loving yourself is actually easier than hating yourself, bet you didn't think that did you, it's just about trying and aiming to be who you want to be instead of doubting everything you can do, think about the fact you can actually do it and you will succeed!
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