Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Why is bullying still a thing?

Why is bullying a thing?



I've been one of those people from the age of 8-16 who was bullied for every little thing, it started being about me being ugly and weird (this is coming from other 8 year olds!!). I didn't like the same things everyone else did, I was shy and hardly spoke this made me fall victim to their torment. Years went to by and as we got older the insults got worse, in high school boys would take it in turns to ask me out for a joke and then see who could 'pull me' I was scared after that of any guy who would talk to me in case it was just a joke. I got a lot of acne through high school and you'll never guess what happened? Yep I got bullied for something completely out of my control, things like the equator were called to me and even one time it got as bad as one guy drew me on the whiteboard and labelled it me. I would never tell anyone except my friends because you know the way it goes, if you open up to an adult about it, the chances are it'll get worse. I'd get insults from girls too about the fact I didn't wear make-up simply because I didn't own any and this is still something that stays with me when I don't wear make-up. There's loads more but I don't want to bore you with my story...

So in 2015, bullying is just as bad, in fact it's worse due to current technology, you used to be able to escape school and hide out at home. But now the bullies can follow you home, on your phone, computer and other technology devices, on any kind of social media, they can leave you comments and even if you block and report it, it still doesn't stop. It's got to the point where more young lives are being taken due to this factor, I mean how on earth could someone as young as 8 take their own life, it's beyond sick. What I'll never get is the reason people think it's okay to bully others? I understand bullying is a thing which is never going to stop, in fact it will probably get worse. What I'm curious to know is why do people think it's okay.

 I've got several theories about bullies, who knows if any of them are even true, the first being pack mentality this is something I have recently thought about. When people are in a group they think they are untouchable especially to one person on their own, because lets face it one person isn't going to fight with a group of 4 plus people. Second being to make themselves feel better, which is one that has always gone around, e.g. jealously but I am not sure that's it anymore, seems more than that. Thirdly, because it's happening to them, they feel the need to make someone else feel how they do just like the food chain, see someone who is below you (check out this video to see an example of this! ) Finally just out of boredom, I mean you're bored why not make someone else feel like crap? (Note the sarcasm)  who even knows which is right, if any of them?

I hear about so many people being bullied and I know personally how it can effect you long term, I mean those memories may never leave you, but when someone calls someone a name, or torments them I doubt they even think of the long term consequences which they really should, it may make you look cool at school, or whatever but think of what it is doing to the person you are doing it to? Will they recover from that? Will they always think that? At the end of the day I know one post or even 1000's won't stop bullying, but if you are bullying someone I'd recommend taking a long hard look in the mirror or at this post and think again, and for those who have been bullied or are being bullied, don't let the bullies win, you're better than that, don't forget it.


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26 comments

  1. We did a little crash course on bullying in one of my teacher training modules and pack mentality is a thing! Kids/adults will say things when they're in a group to get a reaction/be liked/laughed at but when they're by themselves they're totally different! I was always bullied at school, right up to 6th form, and it's stayed with me. Lovely post, very powerful :) Rebecca | Rebecca Marie xx

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  2. I think a lot of people have experienced bullying at some point and it's very sad it's still going on. So sad that young people are actually being driven to take their own life in some cases. I'm glad we didn't have all this technology when I was at school, I can only imagine how bad cyber bullying is now. To be honest, it's one of the long list pf reasons I am homeschooling my children. I want to protect them from horrible things like bullying.
    www.multiculturalmotherhood.com

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  3. Well, I think that;s just the culture we live in... People still struggle to accept that someone may be different in terms of appearance, beliefs, hobbies, background, anything. It's sad, though, that people were able to invent the whole technology thing but they still can't apply some more humanity into their lives.


    www.catchexistence.wordpress.com

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  4. Hi there I just had my first experience of some one not being so nice in the blogging world and although its not bullying as such it really affected me. Im over it now but yes you wonder why someone feels the need to be awful to someone else. Great post k x

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  5. Sadly bullying isn't confined to school. I think as a society we should just endeavour o be kinder to everyone we meet.

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  6. I also will never understand why people bully, I just can't see any reason to. Bad things happen to lots of people but they still manage to be good people! In my experience it's spoiled brats who feel they don't get enough attention from mummy and daddy. I was bullied in sixth form and even when I moved to uni and left it all behind they could get to me on social media, they found my twitter by googling me and sent awful facebook messages, in a big group chat they'd all just be attacking me. Group mentality is such a part of it, I had to suffer every last one of my friends turn away from me. I remember I had two friends for a while, and people started shunning them, like their friends did and they told them that if they were hanging out with me they couldn't be friends. It was all because I wouldn't get back together with my ex eight months after we broke up! They humiliated me so many times, all over that ex! Talk about male entitlement! xo

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  7. i have never been a bully but been on the other end of it, i think your either the person of either end at some time in your life and although we grow older we never truly understand the reasons as to why it happens, its a shame x

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  8. Bullies are nasty people. Bullying is everywhere too, there is a lot of bullying that goes on in the workplace. Childline has some good resources and useful information on how to get help if you are in school.

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  9. Bullying unfortunately will never stop. Infact i'm pretty sure most people don't even realise they're guilty of it. They only think bullying is face to face, or personally attacking someone over the internet, yet they will happily retweet something laughing at someones weight etc. People just need a little reminder sometimes i think, a little reminder of what they're putting someone through.

    Love this post it's fab

    kim xx

    http://andonthatnoteshewrote.com/

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  11. I am so sorry to hear about all of the bullying you experienced. I was bullied too at school, from the age of 11-13, but it was all one girl (which turned into a group of girls) and was very clearly a pack mentality thing.

    I felt the same as you, wondering if the bullies would one day realise what they put me through, but it didn't work out that way for me. One of them tried to add me on FB about 1 year ago and when I messaged her to tell her exactly what I thought of her and how she made me feel, she tried to play the whole thing down and act like it didn't happen.

    Whatever helps her sleep at night, eh!

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  12. Sorry to hear you were bullied, I was at school too. I find that a lot of the time its jealousy, either that or they just have no concept that people can be different to them. It happens so often now with technology and I think its only getting worse- I would hate to be a kid these days. There's just no respect for one another and people think they can sit behind a computer screen playing the big I Am without any thought for the fact that they'd never say it to peoples faces! xxx

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  13. Bulling is so sad and I am sorry to hear you had to experience. As you said, those that are being bullied, shouldn't let the bullies win! x

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  14. I hope you're okay now sweetie, and yeah it's definitely something that affects a lot of people which is seriously sad :( xx

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  15. It's pretty disgusting, everyone should be accepted. If everyone was the same life would be pretty boring :)

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  16. That's so horrible sweetie, I can't believe that happened to you :( I do hope you're feeling a little better now, know I am always here for a chat :) xxx

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  17. People need to think how they would feel if it was them or their family! xx

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  18. Wow that's nice, the least she could do is apologize and admit wrong for what she's done! :(

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  19. It's so vile, people need to think how they would feel. But they literally don't care, I am just glad I am away from that now! xx

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  20. I can relate to this post so much it brings tears to my eyes. I still cant believe bullying still happens! Such a motivational post. I am following you on bloglovin'. anyone who wants to follow too, the button to my bloglovin' is on my blog. (i forgot the web address)

    Much love,

    Lauren Nicole O'Hara

    Lifestyle Blogger

    https://lauren-ohara-x.blogspot.com

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  21. It was really brave of you to write this post. People suck sometimes and it's not only terrible that you felt like that at the time but also that it still sticks with you. If your post just makes one bully wakes up to themselves and the effects it has on the person xx

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  22. so sorry to hear you had the unfortunate experience of bullying, I have my self also and i think most other people would have also , i was always told your either one or the other the bully or the one being bullied, its a horrible saying to think its so popular still today

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  23. I used to be bullied from the age of about 10 - 16, it's awful isn't it I don't understand how kids can be so cruel. I studied a lot of things like group mentality in bullying (and even so much as the Nazi's) in my degree and yes it is a real thing but it's still not an excuse. I appreciate some bullies do have bad backgrounds and probably not great parents but really, most kids are just plain nasty and do it to make themselves look bigger and better. It's funny because now, most of the people who were 'cool' at school really don't have anything going for them anymore! I just wish they'd consider how damaging it can be. I don't think it will ever be stamped out either but hopefully, there will be better support now and in the future.

    India | Touchscreens & Beautyqueens

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  24. Bullying and especially cyber bullying gets me so raged up. Cowards sitting behind a screen... oh don't get me started. Sorry you had such a crappy experience xx

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  25. Such a brave post to write - what you're saying reads very true. The whole asking you out as a joke thing was all too common for me and a couple other girls in my school and created such a lack of trust in any guy that says anything nice.
    Quirks & Queries

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  26. I absolutely love this post. You're so brave to talk about it & it really, really resonates with me. Bullies are horrible people and it breaks my heart, like you said, that little children (and even those that are older) feel so trapped that they just can't do anything about it and end up taking their life. So heartbreaking. Your theories are completely accurate and I really hope that people that are getting bullied/have been bullied can read this post & benefit from it and understand that they ARE worth more than they're made to feel. Bullies are evil. Thanks a lot for sharing! Xxx

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